


all the years i never had you

by sunflower_8



Series: valentine countdown - twenty twenty [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: A Kiss, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Death, F/M, one - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:40:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22641988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower_8/pseuds/sunflower_8
Summary: hajime lends fuyuhiko a journal as he waits for peko to wake up.(fuyuhiko reflects on everything that brought him there)
Relationships: Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko/Pekoyama Peko
Series: valentine countdown - twenty twenty [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1628773
Kudos: 46





	all the years i never had you

_ “Wh-What’s this shit?” _

_ “It’s a journal, Fuyuhiko.” _

_ “I can see that. Why the fuck are you giving it to me and not like, Sonia?” _

_ “I’ve seen the way you’ve been acting. You need to get your thoughts out somewhere or you’re going to explode. I’m the same way. So… keep it, alright? It might help.” _

_ “...” _

_ “She’ll wake up.” _

_ “... Hinata-” _

_ “I’m not lying to you.” _

_ “...” _

_ “Now write.” _

* * *

**age 6**

_ Everything was so much easier when I was a kid.  _

_ I was six years old when my dad first asked something impossible of me. He told me to stay away from you as you were patiently waiting for me to come back, because we were messing around with fake swords and we were having fun, but you were a  _ servant  _ not a  _ friend _. How could he even ask that? I was fucking six, and you were my childhood. Not my dad. Not my mom. _

_ I never aspired to be like them, Peko. I wanted to be like you. _

“Fuyuhiko.” His dad’s voice was cross and a lot meaner than it usually was. Fuyuhiko tilted his head, confused as to why his dad sounded like that. “You need to start spending more time with me. Working with your mother and I. You’ve been wasting time playing with that girl.”

“But I like playing with Peko,” Fuyuhiko grumbled.

His eyes narrowed. “Don’t talk back to me. You will start working so you can grow up and continue the family legacy. Tch. Not even Natsumi plays with the girl that much. Do you understand?”

“Yes, dad,” he mumbled.

“Speak up, son.”

“Yes, dad,” he repeated louder.

“Good. Starting tomorrow, I’ll have your mother start working with you.” His dad walked away, swinging the door shut and leaving Fuyuhiko in the garden. He stood there silently for a while until he noticed someone standing next to him.

“Young master?” He turned to look at Peko, whose red eyes looked pink in the sunlight. “Is everything alright?”

Fuyuhiko feigned a grin. “Yeah. Let’s keep sparring, Peko!” 

_ I tried to be cheerful.  _

_ God, Peko, we were so young. You had chubby cheeks that only grew more skeletal. Your hair was shorter and I used to play with it. Natsumi would make fun of me for that. I hated her for that then, but I wish I could hear her voice again. And yours. You didn’t smile that much back then, but you were happier. I thought you were, anyway. Were you? I don’t know.  _

_ I loved you back then. Did you know that? I loved you. Too much.  _

_ Oh, fuck this. I’m going to bed. I’ll dream of you. I know it.  _

_ ‘Til tomorrow. _

* * *

**age 11**

_ I was eleven when I saw my first dead body. _

_ You were there. You saw and covered your mouth with pale, tiny hands. Your hand found my shoulder and you held me upright. You mumbled my name into my hair as I vomited next to the body. You apologized when my parents chastised me for it. _

“Young master, come. Let’s go to your room.”

Fuyuhiko covered his face as he cried. He didn’t want her to see, especially not after his parents called him unmanly and weak. “I don’t wanna.”

Peko grabbed his hand, moving it from his face. “Young master, it’s okay. You can cry.” He sobbed out loud, and her face twisted in pain. “It’s okay. Let me help you.” Peko supported most of his weight, sitting beside him as he cried on his bed. For once, she didn’t sit far away from him because she thought she was inferior. She hugged him as he cried. 

“I’m sorry, I-” 

She shushed him. “You shouldn’t have had to see that, young master.”

“I thought he was going to live.” He sniffled. “I wanted him to live. Why did he make Dad so mad? He said he had kids, he-” Fuyuhiko grabbed her shirt. “Why did he have to die? Why do people have to die, Peko, I don’t  _ understand _ .”

Peko stroked his hair. “Shh. I don’t know. Sometimes people have to die, young master, even if there’s no reason.”

_ Were you talking about your parents, Peko? _

_ You were so old back then. I mean, we were only fucking eleven, but you looked so wise. So haunted. Like you had seen everything. I wanted to take that away from you, to make you happy. I just wanted you to be happy. I just wanted  _ us  _ to be happy. _

_ But we’re not. We’re here instead. _

* * *

**age 17**

_ I wish I could take back everything that happened when we were 17.  _

_ When we lost Natsumi, I lost myself. I was filled with hatred and spite. I shut you out because I was just trying to make it through the day, and I lost everything important to me in the process. My friends. My family. My motivation. My drive.  _

_ You. _

_ You still stuck by me, even when I stopped talking to you. Even when I pushed you away.  _

_ I wish I could erase the existence of Junko Enoshima from our lives. I wish we were born at a different time where we could have been happy, where we didn’t have to watch Chiaki get brutally murdered. Where Hajime didn’t become Izuru fucking Kamukura.  _

_ I still loved you then. It just hurt more.  _

“Young master-”

Fuyuhiko’s hands were covered in blood. He stood in the middle of a massacred town, no survivors left. Beside him, like always, was Peko, hair wild and grin ecstatic. Her cheeks were covered in blood, too. 

Fuyuhiko turned to her. She barely had enough time to breathe out, “Young master-” before he slotted their lips together. He gripped onto every part of her he could, smearing blood on her soft, soft skin. He used to be such a fucking coward. But this Peko was the one he loved the most, so it was fitting that he saved his first kiss for  _ her _ .

“C’mon,” he muttered after letting go of her. “There’s another one nearby. You ready to go again?”

“As long as you’re with me,” Peko replied. “As long as you’re here, young master.”

“I always will be.”

_ … _

_ Peko, you need to fucking wake up. _

_ Teruteru’s awake. Gundham’s awake. Hiyoko’s up, that snide little bitch. Nekomaru’s awake. The imposter guy is, too, and Ibuki. So why the fuck aren’t you waking up?  _

_ You’re a dumbass. You’re such a dumbass. You thought you could leave me like this? Go off and die for me!? When you promised to stick with me until the day I died, the same went for you! You can’t fucking die, Peko. You can’t do that to me.  _

_ I think I was the main fucking reason you fell into despair. And I’m not trying to sound cocky. You were so used to death. It was something else pushing you off the edge. It was my fault. It was all my fault. Peko, wake the fuck up so I can apologize.  _

_ I want to actually fucking kiss you. Not like then. Never like then. I want to feel you again. I need you to be alive.  _

_ Peko, I can’t fucking do this without you. Wake. Up. Please.  _

_...I don’t know what to do. _

* * *

**age 23**

_ You woke up.  _

_ You’re actually fucking awake. Hajime came and got me the second your eyes opened and oh my God I missed your eyes. You gave me a small timid smile and God, Peko, I missed everything about you.  _

_ You’re still recovering. So am I. But you’re awake. We’re awake now. We have time. _

“Peko.” Fuyuhiko cupped her cheek. She turned her face lazily to look at him, still too exhausted to move fully. He smiled. “I love you.”

Her hands slowly grabbed his jacket, and she tugged on his shirt. He got the message and softly kissed her.

_ I’m never letting go of you again. _

**Author's Note:**

> day one of valentine's day countdown. holy shit. okay like i swear to god i suck less this time around i have all of them done except one. so i guess we'll just die on tuesday. haha. okay.
> 
> i made up the prompts so like here's the prompts: 
> 
> [timeless love / peas-in-a-pod]  
> [teen love / friend-to-lover]  
> [platonic love / comfort-and-communication]  
> [painful love / learning-and-growing]  
> [domestic love / till-death-do-us-part]
> 
> anyway. sorry uh. bye bye everyone see you guys tomorrow.


End file.
